A Conversation To Remember

Me: Tomorrow is August 6. Grandpa (Hub) died 9 years ago tomorrow.

Allysa: Are you sure? I thought he died in April. Oh wait. I was thinking about Jesus.

Oh, how I love the way children think.

On Your 8th Birthday

Yesterday was my daughter's 8th birthday. Really? It's already been 8 years??!! And what a wonderful eight years it has been. To be fair, year seven was a tough one, and I hope this eighth year is a little easier for her than last year. To catch up, my daughter is now seeing a psychologist for severe anxiety and OCD. She is obsessed with lights (are they turned off?), germs and her need to be rid of them, water and electricity (her need not to waste them), and her need to have everything "just so". She's also developed rituals - she needs to "squinch" her eyes a certain number of times so bad things don't happen. She has to go to the bathroom before she eats so bad things don't happen, and lately if our plans change at the last minute, it is causes her extreme distress. And as a result of all this anxiety, her joints have been bothering her more than ever. So, the last few months have been very difficult for all of us. Especially her. If I think about it too closely I feel like curling into a ball in a small corner and crying for hours for her. It is too much to bear as a parent. Watching a child suffer with mental issues is heartbreaking, and as her parents we feel so powerless and confused. So, we take every smile and laugh as a victory and are here to give her all of ourselves to support her and help her fight her way through this. Her eighth year will be better.

Since there was no school yesterday, we spent a quiet day together as a family. We went to "close buffet" for dinner - my daughter's favourite restaurant (not so much mom and dad's!) and went to Build-a-Bear to let her pick out some new clothes for her new little dinosaurs. It was a wonderful day spent with my favourite people.

Here is for you, my dear girl, a little note on what I wish for you this year:

My darling girl,

For your eighth year I wish you happiness and health. I know you will continue to have the courage and strength to overcome the obstacles that may come your way this year, and I hope you remember now, as you always have, that we are always here to lean on.

I hope for you less worries this year than last. That your anxieties lessen so that you can feel more inner peace and less conflict in that little body of yours.

I hope for you more smiles and laughter than ever before. I hope that you find more confidence in yourself and realize how much stronger you are than you think. Only someone as brave and strong as you can fight through the difficulties you face each and every day. You are truly an amazing child, and I learn from you about what resilience really is.

I hope for you less pain. Less tears. Less confusion. Less anger.

I hope for you the feeling of freedom. Freedom from your anxieties. Freedom from ritual.  The freedom of spontaneity.

I hope for you the joys of friendship. The joys of opening your heart to others.

I love you so much. I am so proud of you. I feel so blessed that you are my daughter and promise to cherish you always.

Love, 
Mom

Good morning eight year old!

Pink balloons everywhere.

Trip to Build-a-Bear . . . 

to dress the mini dinos she got for her birthday!

Smartie polka-dotted chocolate dinosaur cake. Yum.

Happy birthday, sweet girl.

Just Old

Conversation at bedtime:

Daughter: Mom, when I'm an adult you'll be a grandma.

Me: I'll only be a grandma if you have kids.

Daughter: Yeah. So, if I don't have kids you'll just be old.

Hmmm. Guess she better have kids!

Cookies, Skates, and Sweaters

Ahhh, December. Who can resist the charms of December? More people smiling, Christmas lights twinkling everywhere you go, Christmas trees peeking through windows, and I swear, everywhere I go I smell gingerbread and cinnamon. I love December.

Here's our Gingerbread Day. We did all the classics (gingerbread men, Christmas trees, stars, candy canes etc.) and we did all our classics - dinosaurs! The house smells so good on Gingerbread Day. And we all had a bit of a sugar high.

A made this, and I told her there was no way she was eating it. Maybe we'll let Santa have this one.

We went skating! This is the first year that she's been on real skates (in past years she's used bob skates) and she's doing great! More importantly, she loves it. I am so in love with this kid.

Remember the letter she wrote Santa in November? Well, she heard back! The very best party is that someone at Canada Post took the time to hand-write, yes hand-write a personal message to her after the standard typed letter! And it was written in pink, which just happens to be A's favourite colour. Even her name and our address (which I've blurred out) was done in colourful and fancy letters! And stickers! They put stickers on the envelope! I can't tell you how excited A was to see her name in fancy writing, She loved it. Thank you Canada Post, and whoever it was that took the extra time to make Christmas more magical for a 7 year old girl.

Yet another sweater for her. The pattern is Bulle and it is the funnest thing I've ever knit, and the cutest thing I've ever knit. It flew off the needles, and I wish I still had more to knit on it. It was that much fun to knit. The best part might be the pockets which are done in a different colour. Crazy cute. I used duplicate stitch to add a little dinosaur on the front. Thank you Staci Perry for an awesome video on duplicate stitch. Ravely details here.  I used Casacade 220 Heathers for this sweater which I also fell in love with. It is a lovely, soft wool.

Look what I got in return! I extend her wishes to all of you. Peace and love to you this holiday season!

Catching November

Oops. Got caught up in this thing called life and haven't been blogging! Here's a recap of the last couple of months.

First, our dear daughter has been suffering with an ulcer! The medication she was on worked quite well, and although she is still having minor tummy issues, she is doing much, much better.

In November:

I knit a simple cardigan for A with pink buttons. First time using Berroco Vintage yarn (DK) and I really loved it! Really soft and warm, blocks beautifully, and is machine washable to boot.

 This kid is growing! It's taking a lot more yarn to knit her a sweater than it used to!

 The holiday gingerbread house. I love the Smarties roof. 

A scarf for her teacher for Christmas! Blocked into a perfect "C". It's Piper's Journey and I have to say it was a pleasure to knit. Ravelry details here. I have to remember how good it feels to finish Christmas knitting in November.

See the little snowman? Our house got new siding because of the damage we got from the crazy hailstorm in the summer. One of the workers built this little guy on our roof and it gave me laugh. Love the long nose. :)

Found this tyrannosaurus rex Christmas ornament at Hallmark. A had to put it on her little tree we keep in her bedroom during the holidays. Very cool.

Well, that got A in the Christmas spirit, and so she sent Santa a letter a little early this year. Her printing is awesome! See? All the hard work paid off!

Back tomorrow with December!

Jurassic Halloween

Well, we are all ready for Halloween. Costume is ready (dinosaur, of course) and the pumpkin is carved.

It's the dinosaur from the Jurassic Park logo!

After we carved it we were thrilled with how spooky it ended up looking! Let's just hope that big head can hold itself up through Halloween.

Our little one is a little spooked this year with all things halloween. Everything seems to be freaking her out a little (to the point that smiley faces look creepy to her now) but the promise of candy seems to be giving her the push she needs to go trick-or-treating. Fingers crossed!

Happy Halloween!

Sprinkles and Stripes

Well, just in time for snow (yes snow! in the first week of October) I finished knitting my daughter's new hat and mittens for this year.

I was looking to do something different that I haven't done before. I always think it's great to teach yourself something new on a small project, so my daughter's winter gear seemed perfect. And, oh my, how cute they turned out.

First up, the hat. The pattern is A Most Bespeckled Hat. A lovely, easy, and ridiculously cute pattern for a hat that uses fair isle, or stranded, technique. My first ever, and I loved it. I used Cascade Ecological Wool for the main colour of the hat, and I used Malabrigo Worsted Merino, in Deja Vu, for the "sprinkles". Using malabrigo means that each and every sprinkle was a different colour, and absolutely adorable. I can't even tell you how cute the pompom turned out.

This may be the cutest thing I've ever knit. Ravelry details here.

For her mittens this year, I thought I'd try out stripes. I used the same yarn - the ecological wool for the main colour, and the malabrigo for the stripes. Again, they turned out so cute! As I did last year, I lined these mittens with grey fleece to make them extra cozy and warm. It gets windy here in Calgary, so lined mittens are a great idea. I used techknitter's instructions for lining mittens found here. Just be sure to make the mittens slightly larger to accommodate for the lining. Here is the pattern I used for the mittens.

 Ravelry details here.

A quick dash to the store to get a new winter coat and snow pants, and she was all set for the snowy (and chilly!) morning. Nothing like waiting till the last minute to find out your child has outgrown all their winter wear! We went from shorts and a t-shirt to a snowsuit all in 24 hours. 

I guess this is why stores here start selling snow suits in August.

Dress-up Finnegan

Is it inevitable that a child with a small dog or cat may try to dress up said dog or cat? My daughter was playing with the mountain of dress up clothes she has collected from Build-a-Bear, and decided it was time to try the clothes on Finnegan, who happens to be just slightly larger than the stuffed animals she dresses.

Oh my. He seems to dislike the socks very much.

It turned out to be a great afternoon, and you know what? In the end, I don't think he minded all that much.

On another note, after dress-up Finnegan wandered into the kitchen and spotted a piece of banana on the floor that my daughter must have dropped. 

Utter confusion. He sat looking at it for over 10 minutes before finally walking away (with several backward glances). He wouldn't eat it, he wouldn't even get close to it. Oh, to be in his little mind!

Finally - The First Tooth!

September 18, 2012, A is 7 years and 7 months old, and . . . she FINALLY lost her FIRST tooth! Yay!!! 

You have never, ever seen three people more excited. And no, it wasn't one of the two teeth that have been wiggly for months, but it was the one tooth on the bottom that got wiggly just that morning. Her adult tooth had already come in behind her baby tooth (our dentist calls it shark teeth) and on this morning, the adult tooth finally pushed it out. Well, mostly.  We tied a string around it, and my husband pulled. And because my daughter didn't really know what the heck we were doing, she didn't flinch or put up a fight. One hefty tug later, the tooth was out!

Truly, I'm a little embarrassed to say that it was one of the most thrilling moments of my life.  We waited a long time for this milestone!

Here she is with her loonie from the tooth fairy, along with a special letter. She bought a chocolate doughnut from Tim Horton's with her dollar. A great opportunity for her to order her own treat, and pay for it, all on her own. No eye contact, but success all the same. I am so proud of her.

It's Baaaack

I decided at the end of August that I would take A off her joint pain/inflammation medication and see where we stood with her pain. The fact of the matter is, she hasn't been given an official diagnosis of JRA (juvenile rheumatoid arthritis) and I hate the thought of giving her arthritis medication everyday when we don't know if she even has it. And now it's back. Her knees have been hurting, and a new joint joined the party . . . her ankles. 

Oh, I pray we find out what is causing this pain. I don't want to mask it anymore. It's been years, and I think it's time we figure out the cause. Such a brave girl we have.

Meanwhile, she'll use Daddy to help her during those tough times when she can't walk.

Best Friends. Tuckered Out.

The school days are exhausting the both of them. They truly have a special connection, and I'm so glad she has him in her life.

*heart melting*

Tougher than a T-Rex

Well, she's off to grade 2 today. Yesterday was full of anxiety, tears, and anger, but it looks like she let it all out, and was prepared as she could be for the first day of school.

I'm so proud of her. I picked her up for lunch and we talked about her new teacher and being back at school. It's difficult - she's unsure of everything, and doesn't like the fact that things are quite different than last year - but she's hanging in there. It's all we can ask. She's brave, determined, and I know she's capable of this and so, so, so, much more.

She's tougher than a T-Rex! I loved that she picked out this shirt to wear today.

On another note, look what I found on my kitchen chair the other day:

Gotta love those women palaeontologists who can hand feed a T-Rex.

Happy first day of school!

The Lying Monster! (Gasp!)

So, A woke up the other night from a terrible nightmare. We had had a discussion about lying the day before. Things like what lying is exactly, and how it is different than "tricking" or joking. A sees the world in black-and-white, and is such a rule follower, that she has a hard time understanding the differences between actually lying, or telling someone you love their new shirt, even if you really don't. It's difficult for her to understand why one is lying, and the other is being kind. The fact that she has difficulty feeling empathy for others (like so many others who are on the autism spectrum) doesn't help. It is a work in progress.

Well, all that talk about lying and its consequences crept into her dreams that night, and she woke up from a nightmare about . . . the lying monster! Apparently, the lying monster comes around when you lie. He comes around to scare you into never lying again. Oh my. It was a very scary dream.

She was trying to explain to me what he looked like and decided to draw a picture of it to show me just how terrible and scary he was. Turn away if you are easily spooked because here he is!

The lying monster!

Notice the yellow horns, the big teeth, and clawed hands and feet! The two necks! The red red and yellow stripes!

After drawing the picture A scared herself by looking at it and asked me to turn it over so she she wouldn't have to see it. Usually, her pictures are taped up somewhere, or stuck on the fridge for a few days before we stick it in her art box. Well, she did not want this anywhere she could see it, so straight away into the art box it went.

For now, the art box is akin to Pandora's box . . . do not open, lest you release the lying monster! Shiver.

Today's the Day the Dinosaurs Have Their Picnic

A few weeks ago we went to the Calgary Zoo for their annual Teddy Bear Picnic. Lots of fun for kids of all ages. Of course, A brought along two of her favourite dinosaurs.

They were checked over by Calgary EMS. Littlefoot was fine.

Poor Dinah had a sore horn. Luckily, they bandaged her right up, and she was perfectly fine by the time we got home. 

What luck! Jurassic Toss for my dinosaur lover!

Here we are on our third, yes third, time around the Dinosaur Park. What a gorgeous walk it is. Can't wait to go in the fall when all the leaves change.

Back-to-School-Blues Brachiosaurus

She's got the blues. The back-to-school blues. The first day of school is always difficult for A (and for most children with Aspergers). There are just too many unknowns and no structure to the first day back. For most children with Aspergers, not knowing how the day is going to unfold is upsetting, and causes so much fear and anxiety. With school starting next week, A's anxiety is increasing, and we are lucky if we can get her to sleep before midnight.

So, we are doing our best to help her through her nervousness, and to keep her focused on the fact that there is still a week left of summer. With that in mind, I took out my dusty crochet hook to whip up another crocheted dinosaur for her; this time her favourite dinosaur - brachiosaurus. 

A's Brachiosaurus, named Trinity (nickname Slim)

She loves it. Ravelry details are here. Pattern is by June Gilbank (PlanetJune) who I've used for all the dinosaurs I've crocheted for A.

She is thrilled. So, her mind is at ease; at least for a little while longer.

Horses and Ponies

We finally got out to our first family horseback ride, and it was lovely! A gorgeous hot summer day, gentle horses (and ponies!) and friendly guides helped make our afternoon relaxing and fun.

Griffin Valley Ranch is tucked away in what feels like the middle of nowhere, yet it's only a 40 minute drive away from our house.

The rolling hills.

We got to the ranch early enough to have some time to walk around the ranch, and look at dozens and dozens of horses and ponies. But, holy manure!

And here she is on her first pony ever, Icy. The sweetest little pony for the sweetest little girl.

Afterwards, the guides let A feed Icy with treats of carrots and apples that we brought from home.

We will definitely go back again another day. And the first thing A said to me as she got off Icy after our ride? "Mom, wouldn't it be cool if Icy was a sauropod?" Always my dinosaur girl.

All Hail Mother Nature

Our little vegetable garden did great this year. It was our best harvest of peas and carrots ever. And then the hail came.  A couple of weeks ago we had a terrible hail storm (golf ball size hail!) that literally chopped up entire bed of peas. No more peas.

But, we did get to enjoy lots of peas before the storm came, and the carrots seem to be doing fine; protected by the fact that they're buried within the earth. Here is a picture of what we enjoyed before the hail.

And remember A's tomatoe plant? Well, all those little yellow flowers have turned themselves into teeny little green tomatoes. Dozens of them!

Very happy we decided to grow them indoors, rather than plant them in the garden.

Royal Tyrrell Museum (aka The Happiest Place on Earth)

We made our annual summer trip to Drumheller to visit the Royal Tyrrell Museum, and A loved every minute of it. We are so lucky to live so close to Drumheller considering we have a little girl who is absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs.

Here she is studying the underwater exhibit. The prehistoric seas have really perked her interest recently.

Here she is next to a Camarasaurus leg bone! This is something new that wasn't there the last time we visited. Incidentally, it was very crowded around this bone as people waited to take their picture next to it, which is why A isn't smiling. I think she would have preferred to have more time to look at it carefully, but the crowd got to her.

Here she is speaking with a palaeontologist who had different specimens for people to touch. This boy next to her seems to have a love and knowledge of dinosaurs almost as much as she does!

Afterwards, it was time for the dinosaur water park in Drumheller. She LOVED it, and the weather was perfect. 29 degrees and sunny, sunny, sunny, And luckily, not at all busy at the time we went. Here she is at the spray park.

Here she is being a liopleurodon in the wading pool.

Here we are after the boys in the background got us really good with their water guns. Really, it was more like a water missile launcher. Funny how we are fleeing in different directions. Clearly it was everyone for themselves.

I love it when we don't have to prompt her to smile.

See? It is the happiest place on earth.

: )