Pink Dinosaur: 2013

Yesterday was my daughter's 8th birthday. Really? It's already been 8 years??!! And what a wonderful eight years it has been. To be fair, year seven was a tough one, and I hope this eighth year is a little easier for her than last year. To catch up, my daughter is now seeing a psychologist for severe anxiety and OCD. She is obsessed with lights (are they turned off?), germs and her need to be rid of them, water and electricity (her need not to waste them), and her need to have everything "just so". She's also developed rituals - she needs to "squinch" her eyes a certain number of times so bad things don't happen. She has to go to the bathroom before she eats so bad things don't happen, and lately if our plans change at the last minute, it is causes her extreme distress. And as a result of all this anxiety, her joints have been bothering her more than ever. So, the last few months have been very difficult for all of us. Especially her. If I think about it too closely I feel like curling into a ball in a small corner and crying for hours for her. It is too much to bear as a parent. Watching a child suffer with mental issues is heartbreaking, and as her parents we feel so powerless and confused. So, we take every smile and laugh as a victory and are here to give her all of ourselves to support her and help her fight her way through this. Her eighth year will be better.

Since there was no school yesterday, we spent a quiet day together as a family. We went to "close buffet" for dinner - my daughter's favourite restaurant (not so much mom and dad's!) and went to Build-a-Bear to let her pick out some new clothes for her new little dinosaurs. It was a wonderful day spent with my favourite people.

Here is for you, my dear girl, a little note on what I wish for you this year:

My darling girl,

For your eighth year I wish you happiness and health. I know you will continue to have the courage and strength to overcome the obstacles that may come your way this year, and I hope you remember now, as you always have, that we are always here to lean on.

I hope for you less worries this year than last. That your anxieties lessen so that you can feel more inner peace and less conflict in that little body of yours.

I hope for you more smiles and laughter than ever before. I hope that you find more confidence in yourself and realize how much stronger you are than you think. Only someone as brave and strong as you can fight through the difficulties you face each and every day. You are truly an amazing child, and I learn from you about what resilience really is.

I hope for you less pain. Less tears. Less confusion. Less anger.

I hope for you the feeling of freedom. Freedom from your anxieties. Freedom from ritual. The freedom of spontaneity.

I hope for you the joys of friendship. The joys of opening your heart to others.

I love you so much. I am so proud of you. I feel so blessed that you are my daughter and promise to cherish you always.

Love,
Mom